When you’re young you view parents as superheroes. With all the energy and vitality pulsing through you, it’s hard to consider that they could be vulnerable or fall ill. And it comes as a shock when you realize they’re not as bulletproof as you believed. But this father cemented his place in his daughter’s life as a superhero.
The past few years have been hard for me. My dad’s been ill and I’ve had to take care of him in spite of my hectic schedule at school. It’s provided me with little time for extracurricular activities. Despite his illness, he tried his best to do right by me, insisting on not bothering me unless it was absolutely necessary.
Today was my graduation and my dad couldn’t be there because he passed away just last month. Today, I got a card in his handwriting congratulating me. Written in the card was an email account and password, which I thought was strange. I logged in, and there are hundreds of emails, all from him.
The subjects are all different events that may take place in my life and some more “random” ones like “Open when you had an embarrassing moment” or “Open when you and mom are fighting.” Each email contains a word document and a video attachment. I opened the graduation one, and I am in absolute tears. I never thought I’d be able to really hear his voice again or see him again.
This one was recorded the day he and my mom broke the news to us about how many more months he has to live due to his cancer. I know this because he’s wearing the shirt I bought him, and he wore the shirt the whole day before he noticed the “m” sticker on it. This was before he started chemo. I forgot how he looked and sounded like before he had cancer. I don’t know when the others are recorded.
I’m sorry if this isn’t the place for it. I wanted to share it, but I didn’t know to whom. This is the best gift I could have ever asked for: and infinite amount of time with my dad. Now, he’s with me forever, wherever, and whenever. I love him and I miss him.
Here are the subjects of the emails he had sent me:
Birthdays 23 – 80 (each is a separate video)
Graduate school Graduation
First real job
First time being fired
Landing dream job
“Show to that bastard you’re going to marry”
Wedding with “permission to play at wedding”
Coming back from honeymoon
Adopt a kid
Lose a child
Get annoyed with child
Regret having children (as a joke)
You can’t sleep
It’s raining and you’re reminded of me
You fuck up big time
You need comfort
You’re mad at God
You feel depressed
You feel alone
You feel annoyed
You feel scared
You want to hurt yourself
You forgot how to laugh
Disneyland 100th anniversary
Mom finally cleans out the garage
Aliens don’t invade
McDonalds no longer has $1 menu